Wednesday, September 06, 2006

Warning: this is a rant

"Hey can I drop my kid off with you for a little while?" is a request I hear quite often, and not usually one that starts a rant, but I had plans for today. Not the kind of plans that I could say 'No, I have to do so and so.' with, but they were still plans.
I only get three mornings a week to myself, two this week because of the holiday on Monday. I only get these if my sister, Miss Universe, doesn't have to work and none of my kids are sick, or playing sick. My plans for this morning were to only get drinks for myself, entertain only myself, read, surf the internet, do anything I wanted without the sounds of cartoons invading my head.
Now most people think I am I nice person, but I will confess, I'm really a bitch. As evidence I will tell you what I was thinking this morning when Miss Universe called.
What I said. "Sure bring her over." What I was thinking. 'Watch your own damn kid.'
She told me one of her freinds had just told her sister she was going to kill herself.
'yeah right' I thought. 'It is much more likely she said that for attention.'
Since she was closer she was going to drive over and dump out the pills.
I said "Ten prosac can't kill a person can they?" I thought. 'Why cant you take Huggy Bear with you to do that?'
"No, of course not. She's such a drama queen." she said
'damn you.' I thought.
I spent the ten minutes inbetween the time we hung up and the minute she arrived trying to take the bitchy edge out of my voice. It wasn't easy with thoughts like 'I'm not the one who decided to have another kid, why am I the one who always has to change my plans?' going through my head and occasionally out of my mouth. I know I could have said no, explained why I didn't want to. This would have worked, caused some hard feelings, but worked. I couldn't do this though for two reasons. First of all family dynamics, I'm the one who gets the calls, who makes decisions, who plans the holidays. Me not saying no unless I absolutely have to is how our family works. The other reason is it is just my personality to say yes. I have trouble saying no to anyone. I have been working on that and am getting better, but I could have worse faults.
When they arrived I greeted them warmly and took H.B. in my arms. M.U. looked around and Said, "Your alone that's great!" She smiled and waved goodbye.
'Bitch' I thought. Once again I could have said something, but don't feel I should have had too. Every mother knows how priceless a few hours alone are. After long weekends where a few minutes of piece are few and far between they can be absolutely mind saving. For her to assume I didn't need these next few hours as much as she did seemed very selfish to me. I set H.B down and started making tea. A few minutes later she did that adorable thing most babies do at her age. She carried over two wooden blocks, one in each hand. She handed me one and then the other, then lifted her arms so I could pick her up. I carried her to a chair, hugged her and had a thirty second pity party. I thought selfish thoughts about how taken for granted I was, let my eyes fill with tears. Then I thought of the party Miss Universe through for me on my birthday, and all the times she has been there when I needed her. Then I set Huggy Bear in her walker. She can already walk but it is the closest thing I have to a high chair. I went in the kitchen and made some toast. Her beautiful dark eyes followed me the whole time. When I smiled at her she smiled back. I turned on some music she had toast and a cup of water. I has toast and tea. She bobbed her head to the music, I laughed. Somewhere in the middle of this rant the phone rang. I talked to a freind about the drama in one of the offices I sub in while I rocked Huggy Bear to sleep. After my pity party I am really having a lovely morning. That is why I don't say no. Things usually work out for the best anyway.

I have been having trouble thinking of fake blog names for my sisters. Today while I was still pouting I came up with them.
Huggy Bear,s mom is Miss Universe, because she really does think the universe revolves around her.
Princess and Curly Top's mom is Drama Queen. The name says it all
My youngest sister who has no children is Shrew. Of all my sisters she is the most like me, and from my post above you can see I can be a bitch.
All of these names may sound mean but they make me smile. We have good relationships and joke about our quirks all the time. None of these are names I wouldn't call them to their faces.


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