Friday, April 28, 2006

Don't become boring

I know a girl who used to be smart, fun, energetic, and creative. Over the past six months she has become a complete boor. What horrible drug has done this to her? The attention of boys. I may be being overly harsh on her, but that is truly the saddest trait the females of our species have. It irritates me in other women and I loathe it when I find it in myself. There may be a few women out there who don't have to fight this part of human nature, but most of us do at one point or another.
When asked if she would like to go somewhere, I can see the wheels turning in her head. She is thinking will he be there, or will he stop by or call while I'm out? Other conversation, about things that used to fascinate her wont hold her attention. She only wants to sit in a corner and daydream about the boy. Instead of using her time to plan and create great projects, like she used to, she plans where he will be and how she can casually run into him. 'What will I say?' she wonders. 'How will he respond?' If only she could see that in real life he isn't near as interesting to talk to as she imagines him to be. I'm not being mean here, very few could be that interesting, except maybe her. Perhaps I'm just being jealous, but I hate to see my friend throw so many projects to the side, and I'm worried about how foolish she will feel when she comes to her senses.
I should not worry too much, because she has a wonderful sense of humor. She has warned many young woman. 'When a man first notices you he sees you living your life for yourself. You are fascinating to him. Then you notice him noticing you, and you become obsessed with making sure he continues to notice you. You stop doing all the things that he first noticed about you. You quit living your life and become boring. Why would he stay interested in a boring woman?' She will see the irony in the very girl who said this becoming boring for a boy.

Thursday, April 27, 2006


I have been very unfaithful lately about blogging. Posts are thought up, just never typed. Damn privacy issues are holding me back.

I have been filling in at a different office for the last few weeks, and I love it. They people who I've been working with have mentioned me trying to get transferred over there. I am tempted to do it. The only real reason not to is the difference between walking a few blocks and driving seventeen miles. Eating out is another one. Right now I walk home to eat, which is much cheaper and nicer. With an hour lunch break I can even squeeze a nap in if I really need it. Of course more money and a more pleasant boss are tempting me.

On Monday I tried a new place to eat, Two Girls and a Coffee Shop. They serve Panini sandwiches, soup, and salad. I ordered the portebello and mozzarella, which is one dollar more. For $5.95 you can get a whole sandwich or a half with either soup or salad. Since breakfast is always sacrificed for an extra ten minutes of sleep I ordered the whole sandwich. The cappuccino brownie I ordered because it looked so damn good. These two things and a bottle of water cost $10.95. I was a little shocked at the price, but both the sandwich and brownie were huge. I didn't eat again until breakfast the next day. For a whole days worth of food that is a pretty decent price.

After reading through this post, I must say it has been brought to you today by the word damn.

Tuesday, April 18, 2006


Easter this year didn't feel like Easter at all. I had a great day, just not like a holiday should be. The most noticeable change was that we didn't have a sunrise service at church. We have a new preacher and he didn't want to do any of the things we usually do. We usually have a sunrise service, a breakfast, an Easter egg hunt, then morning services at 10:00 so everybody can get home to their families. This year it was just like every other Sunday, complete with me feeling no need to go to church.
At 11:oo I had already pulled the turkey out of the oven, started the potato salad, and sliced strawberries for shortcake. My younger sister called. She had got a d.u.i. the night before. Could I please go to Mom's get some proof of insurance, bring it to her, and drive her to get her car out of the impound lot? I got in my car to make the 35 mile drive to where she lives and realized it was a beautiful day for a drive.
The sun was shining, the young wheat fields were bright green, there wasn't a cloud in the sky. Even the cows looked picturesque. I turned up the radio and took off. Hold on loosely came on. This song is one of my guilty pleasures. Not that liking this song is a guilty pleasure, most people do. How I respond to it is the guilty part. When I'm alone I turn it up too loud and sing at the top of my lungs. Who could not be having a great time on a day like this, listening to music like this? While waiting for the guy to come and unlock the gate I told my sister about my latest mistake. We laughed at ourselves, it made us feel better. My brother rode home with me, I turned the music down, and we had good conversation. See, it was a great day, just not like Easter.
The girls had went to Spend the week with their mom, so the only kids who hunted eggs were my 10 year old son, and his 8 & 10 year old cousins. The three of them didn't get into finding eggs. They did it, just not with the joy I wanted to see.

Thursday, April 13, 2006

Birthday party

My son is having a sleepover tomorrow for his birthday. There is no way I can let ten boys have the run of this place without cleaning it up a bit. I have to go grocery shopping before I can start baking his cake, and wouldn't you know it I agreed to help with a track meet tonight. It will probably be ten o'clock before I head to the store tonight, a forty-five minute drive.
For some reason I quit in the middle of this post. I made it through the party. They drank three cases of pop, and were playing tag in the house at five in the morning. I think this means the party was a success. The cake, if I do say so myself, turned out great. We made it into a wrestling ring with a raised platform and licorice ropes.

Tuesday, April 11, 2006

It was a beautiful day here, once the wind died down of course. We have been having our usual spring gales for the last few days. This evening it calmed down and was just perfect for playing outside. This seemed to be the general consensus around town; the streets were crawling with people. In the winter I take my walks late. After the kids are cleaned, fed and in bed I head out for a few miles. It is so quite, nobody else is walking, and really only a few random cars are seen. It is totally different in the Spring and Summer. We become a town of night people.
We are in track season now. I'm secretly glad I had to work today, track is my least favorite sport to attend in person. Those damn meets take all day.
tomorrow is the Easter egg hunt. I volunteered to take cookies. I also am supposed to be taking cupcakes to my son's class for his birthday. That means I'll be spending my night baking. I could have done that this evening, but who could drag themselves inside on a day like today?

Thursday, April 06, 2006

Ahh, a hot shower.

ARGH! We had a water leak yesterday, and ended up having to replace the sheet rock on one wall. What a mess. I've skipped showers now and again on a grungy weekend spent laying around and snacking with the kids all day, but somehow when I just can't have a shower it really bugs me. Nothing felt so good as finally being all clean and freshly shaven.
Today I'm showing the Girl Scouts how to bake bread. I am about to go in and start some dough for my switch out. There is no other feeling quite like kneading bread. Afterwards I'll take another shower.

Tuesday, April 04, 2006


I am hanging in limbo, dreading that the consequences of my actions will catch up with me. I am not going to confess here about my mistakes, but I needed to say something about why I can't seem to put any other kind of post together. I have never been a really patient person. When there is a problem I like to get it taken care of as quickly as possible, while keeping the ball in my court.
The basic problem I am facing here is the speed of rumor, while hoping it just dies out for lack of interest. That leaves me here just sitting and waiting. The dull pain of dread sitting in the bottom of my stomach seems to be here to stay. In my mind I know that since there is nothing I can I do I should just let it go and get on with my life. My mind doesn't seem to be able to do that just yet. I think I'll let myself obsess for three more days, then convince myself I'm out of the proverbial woods.

Monday, April 03, 2006

Embarrassing weekend

For the last few weeks I have been really in the mood to 'tie one on'. Some how drinking enough to really loosen up and act extremely silly is a great stress reducer. I am normally a reserved person. I act goofy, but am always in control. Actually, I am a tad bit controlling in several areas.
I had mentioned this mood to a friend of mine last week. When I saw her Sunday afternoon she said. "Well you did the the job well last night." If she only knew it got worse.
The four of us went to a bar-b-que Saturday night. It is an annual thing with calf fries and wild hog. The food is good, and everyone brings plenty to drink. As the night wore on we added Hemingway proportions of wine to Nascar levels of beer. I got loud, and flirty, told dirty jokes, laughed. Oh, was I embarrassed Sunday morning.
I talked to my sister who lives in a bigger town. She had coincidentally done about the same thing on Saturday night. She said she was planning to avoid anybody who had been out with her for a few weeks. That is the problem with a small community, I have nowhere to hide. My letting go happened with one of my son's teachers, three other school board members, the ladies who work at the store, people who go to church with me, and everybody else I see on a daily basis. I laid really low yesterday, but now life goes on.
This is all the part my friend knows about. When we got back into town at 2:00 a.m. I wasn't ready to quit. I went for a walk and found some more people still out. I finally poured myself into bed at 4:00. I did however have the presence of mind to drink plenty of water first. I survived hang over free, which I really didn't deserve.
I'm not sure if I made any enemies that night or not. Hopefully people will be understanding.