Wednesday, September 26, 2007

Blogger play and work

Blogger play is addicting. I almost didn't post because I have wasted too much time watching it. It is a distilled version of what I like about reading blogs. If books and movies are a journey into the lives of others, blogs are a snapshot. Blogger play is then just a quick glance into what other people are doing, seeing, and eating. One person was growing cilantro and another was growing pot. Some people are living lives that look very much like mine, others are so exotic. When I am on a road trip I sometimes notice all of the other people in cars around me. I wonder where they are going, if they are coming from somewhere happy or sad. Blogger play is like that, just one moment in someone else's life on display for me.

I have been going through a bit of a funk lately. Statistically my life looks to be on track. finally I have grown up and got a real job, with health benefits and a saving plan. Way inside my head though, not voiced to anyone else is the real thought. The fear that now I have chosen a path that is not mine. My job is great, fun even. I love the people I work with, they remembered my birthday and baked me a cake, it is that kind of a place to work. I think the problem my brain is having is that I have a retirement plan, and it is assumed I will still be there in thirty years. Is this what I want to do when I grow up? Finally, to appease myself, I gave myself permission to quit. Not today, just someday if I really find something I would rather be doing. This current job is my back up plan, in case I never find a band of gypsies to join up with.

Friday, September 21, 2007

Everywhere you look in my house you will see bugs. They are all at different levels of being captured, killed, and pinned to a board. At our high school sophomore is the bug collection year, so Lee has been collecting them for the past few months. It is really gross. I open my freezer and see bugs, on my table they are in jars and under upturned glasses, there is a shoe box of dried bugs in my living room, I can't wait for this project to be over.
I am not really an animal person so it was a shock to everyone, even me, when I decided we needed to get two puppies. A friend was giving some away and I, for some unexplainable reason, really wanted one. When we went to pick him up he was playing with his siblings and I felt really guilty taking him to my back yard were he would have to spend some days all alone. Lane and picked out another one and we brought them both home.
Some days I think about bringing them in and letting them spend time with us in the house, but I quickly shake that feeling off. A lady once said to me that she always let her pets in the house because she wanted them to be part of the family. My spoken reason for keeping them as outdoor pets is that my allergies just can't take indoor pets, which is true. Deep down I know that even without allergies I wouldn't want to have them indoors. Personally, I like to think of our pets more as close neighbors than as family members.