Tuesday, December 19, 2006

A few things to update on. I caved to the sophmore slump and did not finish my nano novel this year. After ditching my first 15,000 words and starting over I did come up with 15,000 words that I really liked.

My mood picked up after a short cry in the shower. I thought about why I was really feeling bad. It did not take me long to admit that I felt I had handled a situation in which Drama Queen ended up in jail badly. After thinking it over I do feel I made the second best choice and would do it differently if I had a chance, but the the results have been over all positive. She has been really trying to quit drinking, even attending those dreaded (by her) meetings. The bad side is she absolutely refuses to live here near her family. It is amazing how much better it felt to admit to myself that I made a mistake, but had learned a lesson about myself and my family.

That fall to do list is not going to get done. A few closets have been cleaned out as have my kitchen cabinets. I have hung the curtains in my bedroom. The material for the living room curtains has been bought. I could not find any I liked for the price I was willing to pay, but I am going to try and replicate a set of the more expensive ones. To Dh and the kids relief I did buy some of those temporary shades, the paper ones to replace the blankets. My brother in law called me the day I put them up and asked If I had to take down my other curtains because the we were getting cold. Smartass.

I have been following the group of people who pledged to buy nothing new for a whole year. While I know I could never do anything so drastic, I do like the thought behind it. Some days I feel we are being over run by junk we buy. I do compost and recycle and try building most of my outdoor projects with materials on hand, but still I buy way too much. As far as the five kids are concerned I will still support capitalism on a grand scale this year. Over the years I have made a list of things I will not buy, mostly for economic reasons though. Remote control vehicles never last long enough to justify the amount of money I spend on them. Any toys requiring batteries that aren't rechargable. I just never keep that many batteries in the house so they don't get used for their intented purposes for long. Then I find them a year later broke with that white gunk spreading out of the battery case.
For the adults this year I am going to try to make most of the gifts. I had no idea what to do for Dh until I walked into his office at work and noticed the trash bags he had taped over one of his windows to block the sun. Last night the kids and I made him some curtains out of left over material I had. They are nothing grand, but quite a bit better than a trash bag.

Santa days

Every year our school has what we call Santa day. On the last day of school before Christmas break they dismiss at 12:30. If not the whole town then damn near the whole town meets in the gym. We have drawings for free turkeys, hay scrambles, the band plays Christmas songs, and yes Santa shows up. The School takes donations to give all of the senior citizens silver dollars and all of the students a gift. It also a good time for organizations or people raising money to have a raffle. Lee and I decided to raffle off two afgans for his trip. Santa day was last Friday. On Wednesday I bought some yarn. I had one afgan done, but not two. The first one was a Queen size, but I was only going to make the second one a throw. I worked Thursday, and as I was locking up Jason called me and told me he had volunteered me to make cookies for his class party the next day. That was also the night of the christmas program. Lane and Princess were elfs.
Around midnight I sat down to crochet. At five-thirty I was too tired to continue. I had little over a half done and had watched over five hours of BBC. I crawled to bed and slept until the alarm woke me at seven. Amazingly I felt refreshed, and like Madonna, had a newly acquired English accent. By ten thirty that morning I was finished. My long night paid off. Lee earned over two hundred dollars for his trip. As a bonus he had talked to several people who offered to pay him for odd jobs. One of the older ladies in town told him that if he was a bit short when the time drew near to come talk to her. His morale was way up. I was proud of him because that whole day was way out of his comfort zone, both of ours really.

Tuesday, December 12, 2006

A Picture!

Yeah! I finally tried to post a picture. This is Huggy Bear and she is very cuddly. Her mom sent her dressed in the cute pink, the too large black accessories I added. Her yard never seems to look more like a construction site than a yard either. Like most sisters we are so different yet so much alike.

I feel like I need to watch a Riding in Cars With Boys again. Who knows why one movie will affect one person dramatically and not another. Two of my friends have watched it and their thoughts were "meh, it was okay." My brother really liked it, brought it to me and I cried all the way through it. Not just tearing up, actual crying. It got so bad my brother apologized for bringing it. I want to watch it again and I hope it still works it's magic.
Like everybody my life has rough patches and I am one of those stoic people who may feel bad when alone, but laugh my way through it in company. Twice though in the last week I have felt myself on the verge of tears in very public places. Lately I have become one large exposed nerve.
Large because I have quit walking my three miles a night and have put on almost twenty pounds since September. That could partly explain my lack of composure too. It is easy to handle almost anything if you know you are going to have some time in the moonlight to think it over. Instead I may have to settle for a good cry.
I had sat down here today and planned to tell the story about why Drama Queen is back in Wichita and why Princess and Curly Top are with me. Every time I try to write it though it comes out as a bunch of melodramatic blah blah blah. So let's just say she is battling her demons and I am trying to help, while constantly feeling guilty because she got more than her fair share of demons while I escaped with so few. It is hard watching someone you love struggle. The hardest part is not knowing how much to help or how much space to give.

Tuesday, December 05, 2006


I'm heading to Wichita to drop the Drama Queen off. There is a story behind this trip, but I don't have time to tell it now. Miss Universe is going with me so we are taking Huggy Bear and Curly Top. This should be a fun day. I am thankful for Sirius radio, because the radio stations in this area are sub par.