Saturday, February 01, 2014

Diva called today and asked me to go to the movies with her. My first impulse was to say no. Instead I made myself shower, put on make up, and get out of the house. We went and ate too much bbq before the movie. It was one of those places where you order buckets of everything including beer. Then you wipe your hands on a roll of brown paper towels set on the table.

I picked the movie. Having narrowed it down to three it seemed like a no lose decision. The choices were August: Osage County; I, Frankenstein; or Dallas Buyers Club. I chose August: Osage County. No, I did not know the premise. I just knew it had several actors I love in it and it was supposed to be funny.

The minute Beverly disappeared my I knew what was coming and tried to prepare myself. I did enjoy the movie. It was just a little soon. I had a slight panic attack afterwards at the grocery store. Suddenly not being able to find the almond bark seemed too much stress to handle. When I was young, between 16 and 21, I used to have panic attacks when I drove. It just seemed like too much responsibility to be in control of so many lives at once. I found the best way to get better was just to drive a lot, in cities if possible. After a couple of deep breaths I was able to talk myself through it. I never thought the day when come when I would have to say "find the chocolate chip section. It will be fine"

I have made it sound like a disaster of an evening, but it was actually fun. I am glad I did not spend another evening lying in bed reading. Not that those are bad evenings either.

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