Wednesday, November 07, 2007

penis vs vagina they are only words

Yesterday was Fria Chica's birthday. We are celebrating Saturday with a dinner. Miss Universe and I have went through several possible menu ideas before settling on a pasta night. I am making brioche, spinach pesto, pasta puttanesca, spaghetti cabonara, and linquine w/red clam sauce. Miss Universe is making linguine w/chicken alfredo sauce, and spaghetti w/meatballs. Can you tell we love pasta?

My brother stopped by last night and ate supper with us. I whined about my nano novel to him and he was very sympathetic. He used to live with me. When he moved out he still lived in the area for years. Now he lives in Guymon and it seems like I never see him. Stupid jobs. I have his name for Christmas and instead of having trouble thinking of something to give I am having trouble narrowing down the list I have. I am already in the holiday spirit this year.

At work the other day I heard what has to be, to me, the most despicable phrase in human language. "I would do it but my husband would kill me." She was talking about dying her hair. WTF! As an adult it is my firm belief that my hair is my hair. When will women quit letting their husbands act like their fathers. I wont go on for long about this but I have to say that they won't stop treating us like children until we insist that they do. Women dye your hair, cut it, shave it, let it grow whatever you want. If you honestly believe your spouse will kill you it may be time to rethink the whole spouse idea. Equality means we all get to think of ourselves as adults not just those of us with penises.

Along those same lines I have been thinking for years about the word vagina. I know the monologues and other feminist attempts have made the word a little more mainstream but in the household it is still treated like an unspeakable word. With my children I used the anatomically correct word instead of pee pee I taught them to say penis. I often wondered if I would have had the strength to do the same if I would have had daughter. None of the women I know who have daughters do. A few years ago I was driving on an empty highway with a lot of time to think. I started wondering about this. The word penis is thrown around pretty carelessly. Penis head and penis breath are common insults. At that time I had never heard anyone call out vagina head as an insult. That surely has to be a sign of the different status of the two words. This was a few years ago and I haven't given the subject much thought since then. Just the other day I overheard Lee calling somebody a vagina face. I was a bit irritated at first. Why should a part of the female anatomy be used in an insult. Before I said anything out loud I remembered that lonely highway and thinking that this kind of an insult would be a good sign. Since then I have heard him use the phrase again and again. Maybe this is a sign. Could the word finally be becoming just another word that describes a body part? Have we moved out of the unspeakable stage? I hope so.
I remember the first time I really gave thought to how mothers react to the vagina. It was in the middle of an interesting conversation. I was talking to a mother of three girls. I of course had three boys. She was saying how she hated cowboy hats. She couldn't understand why a man would want to put something that looked like a female body part on his head. "A female body part?" I asked. "Yeah, you have boys but believe me," Here she lowered her voice. "When you change a girl and you see 'her' it is really ugly." We still have a long way to go.

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