Before coming here to post today I ran through my e-mail rather quickly. I can't bring myself to empty my junk folder without scanning its contents. You know, just in case someone I want to hear from accidentally fell in. In further proof of my craziness I will admit that I talk back to the e-mails as I scan. Since no one is here to hear me I was very loud. "Really Nick, you believe in me?" and "Hollywood has switched to green tea? Well this Earl Grey I'm drinking can fuck off! It's all green for me now."
It does bother me that I can clearly see a relationship between what I have searched for in the past month and what spam I get. I have searched 'tea' lately. I haven't searched 'Nick' though, so I don't know why the fuck he thinks I care if he believes in me. It has been a while but I did search 'Christianity' a few times when I was looking at the difference between denominations. Therefore, I completely understand why I get messages about single Christians in my town. Of course only about four hundred people live in my town, so I think I know all of the single Christians, and am not interested. Give me a single heathen any day.
I have also learned something interesting about my family's behavior this month. For years I have wanted to watch Trainspotting. It is one of those movies that even though I had always planned to watch it, the opportunity never presented itself. About two weeks ago I noticed it was on t.v. so I recorded it. It has been sitting on the list since then unwatched. When asked what it was I just said it was a movie I had been meaning to watch for years. Nobody else touched it after that. I'm sure that if I would have said it was a risky movie I didn't think they should watch they would have watched it the second they got a chance. Except for dh. Mr. conventional, which is getting worse as he ages, would have deleted it fifteen minutes into the movie. Instead nobody touched it and I watched and deleted it at my leisure.
The reasons I didn't want my children to watch it aren't the obvious ones. The frontal nudity and sex scenes they will watch elsewhere. They will probably be faked so well by Hollywood that they don't appear near as realistic as they do in this movie. If they are going to watch sex scenes I at least want the to give a realistic idea of what it is about, not just fake body parts and unrealistic ideals. If they are going to watch drug scenes, and I'm sure they will, I want them to show the down side like this movie did. No the reason I don't want them to watch this movie is because I'm afraid they are as curious as I am. I have never shot up drugs. The things I have done though, I have done because I want to know what it is like. I found myself wondering what heroin is like;what makes it so attractive? Would I be able to take one hit to try and then leave it? Then slowly as I watched I realized that as I have grown older alcohol effects me so much more than it used to. No telling what anything stronger would do to me now. No, the time in my life for trying those kinds of things is gone. Good sense has ruled out. I believe my boys have much more good sense than I did at their age, but lets not push it.