Being Alive

     I have vowed to post regularly; to use this time to explore my thoughts and feelings about life. Today, after a rather uneventful day at work, I could think of nothing to say. I shut my laptop and decided to work out. This is new, the working out. Before the move I walked a minimum of 4 miles a day. After the move I have focused my attention on work. Exercise has become sporadic, I might walk 5 miles on my day off, then go three days doing nothing. I do have a stand-up desk, but that is not a free pass. I can feel myself getting weaker, less nimble, less quick. 

    After my workout, I felt I deserved to watch a movie. I almost rewatched The Whale. I have spent part of my day in Moscow Idaho, in that movie. Fun fact, I once lived very near Moscow. That was a long time ago. Instead, I watched Joy the Birth of IVF. I realized that unintentionally I have been watching movies about life and death.

     It started with The Man From Earth, which explores longevity of life and what you can do with it. There is not a sequel, shut up it does not exist. The next day I watched The Whale, which deals with death and dealing with the mistakes that are made and the good we do. The saddest part of that movie, for me, is when we see the apartment from the outside and realize he lives on the second floor. How long has he been isolated? Then in his last week four people come into his world. He has forgot to live until it was time to die. Tonight, I watched a movie about giving birth, but even more it was about what can we give to others, what good can we do.

    I realize I have thrown up a hodgepodge of thoughts and references. I also realize that if this essay were graded it would be called sloppy. But life is sloppy, thoughts are sloppy, expression can be sloppy. After giving all of this much thought I think that all of us deal with life and death, no matter how long or short our lives are. More important is the idea of being alive. What do we do with this life while we have it?  What can we do to give value to our life?  I suspect the answer lies in giving. I guess it is for each of us to decide what we give. We can give help, opportunities, life, love, art......