Getting help turned out to be much harder than I expected. We still had the appointment for the 28th, but that was too far away. I rescheduled the Monday one we had missed while Jason was in the hospital. They were able to get us in that following Monday. We live close to the Oklahoma state line. His appointment was in the closest large town to us Guymon Oklahoma.
Jason had been lucky. The nearly two grams of meth he had swallowed had not caused any permanent damage. He had had kidney failure and liver damage, but they were both functioning when we left the hospital and expected to be healed in a few weeks time. He had experienced a severe case of Rhabdomyolysis which left him unable to walk long distances or jump, but this too was expected to heal. He slept through the weekend while we waited for the appointment. His psychosis was just as bad as before.
On Monday he was cranky. Walking to the car exhausted him. He was irritated that I was lying to him about my part in the conspiracy against him. In the waiting room we filled out pages of paperwork. He was polite to everybody. He was always polite, even in his worst moods. We could walk into any building and he would try to make the workers smile.
In the counselors office we were told they could not help us. We were out of state. Out of their service area. They advised us to call Liberal Ks. It is not far from us either. I started crying. I could tell they felt bad, but I could not stop crying. Jason went outside to wait for me while I wrote down the phone numbers they gave me.
On the drive home I called the Liberal office several times. There was no answer. I called Area Mental Health in Garden City. Which is where we had our appointment for the 28th. They would not move his appointment up. I cried some more. Jason told me it would be fine. He could wait.
The next day I tried making him an appointment with a private psychiatrist in a town near us. She could not see him until December.
We decided to wait for the Area Mental Health appointment. He was still hearing the voices in his head, but everyday he seemed to improve a bit in how he handled them. He began to smile and make jokes during the day. At night he had trouble falling asleep. I read to him most nights, while Indiana Jones played loudly in the dvd player. I had always liked it dark and quiet while I slept. I learned to sleep with the movie playing loudly and a lamp on, because that is what was best for him. If he woke in the middle on the night and could not fall back to sleep he would wake me to read to him. I tried to take a nap after work to make up for some of the sleep I was missing.
They had told me on the 4th when I made the appointment that I would need to confirm it 24hrs in advance. They said they would call the day before that to remind me. I remembered that 24 hour bit. Unfortunately, I believe because I was sleep deprived and stressed out, I did not think that 24 hours before a Monday appointment is actually Friday. I picked up to call Sunday morning. That is when I realized I had fucked up.
I called early Monday morning to see what could be done. They had cancelled his appointment, and we would have to reschedule for next month. I stood in the parking lot and cried as I spoke to them. I insisted they see him. The receptionist told me that if I had him there at 2, and we could not be late, they would see him today. I was relieved.
We walked in at 1:55. For some reason, and I still do not understand why, they would not see him. He did not have an appointment. There had been two Jason's on the list. The young girl explained. I clicked the wrong one. I cried some more. I insisted. Jason sat on a chair with his head in his hands. There was nothing to do. I stood there in front of them and cried.
Finally Jason put his arms around me and told me it would be ok. He thanked the staff and we left.