I was shocked to see that I have not posted since 2018. Life has moved so fast. Today has been a day of rapidly changing emotions. In the last few years I have moved across the state. Mostly to be closer to my babies. I do not get to see Ramona, Beezus, or Bezus' very sweet child as much, this breaks my heart.  I also have had a promotion at work, which is good.  Today, I was driving along in the country thinking about what I have gained by moving here. I have met so many people who are a positive in my life; I am happy. Then on the way home I was listening to Joni Mitchell.  I suddenly had a vivid memory of Jason videoing  me while I sang along with a song on the radio. He titled it, "This is why I love you".  He was the son who loved me for my quirkiness. I was listening to both sides now by Joni Mithell when I had this memory. I listened to it twice.  I also cried. This kind of saddens is the good kind; I remember what I had, and what i lost. I had a son who adored me. I loved him. I am luckier than most.