ok, full disclosure, I am angry and drunk, so I may regret this in the morning.Since my last post I have only seen my babies once, they came down for Easter. I took that Monday off and had one of my best days ever. I worked in the garden while they played in the mud, jumped on the trampoline, and swung on the swing-set. It was a beautiful day.

Now it is the first of May. My bf played "Hey there Delilah." That is the name my sister's new baby. It made me nostalgic, so I texted my sister. She had an excuse for not letting me have them and told me to come there. I had only asked for a weekend, with kids I have raised, not too much, but the answer was no.

That is not what hurt the worst. My bf, who is generally thoughtful, told me not to take it so hard. I asked him how he would feel if somebody had taken his children for a year. He told me it was not the same thing.

Of course, I cannot love somebody else's children as much as he loves his. But I do. I have my own children. I have a point of reference. I do love them that much. Some people may not be capable of loving other people's children as their own, but I am.

hopefully this anger will be dissolved by morning, because we have started the moving in process.